Not Everything is All About You - My Conversation With a Narcissist
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About This Poem
Have you ever tried to get past the self-involved paranoia, of a dyed-in-the-wool full blown narcissist, and attempted to tell them that they are actually NOT the center of the universe?
This poem is a tongue-in-cheek view of one such conversation.
Not Everything is About You
If you'll hold on for just a minute
Maybe take a breathe
I've some advice I'd like to offer up
To make your problems less,
Put an end to some of your headaches,
Relieve some of your stress.
It will only take a second
If you'll just give me a chance,
Try to wrap your mind around it
Take my advice for what it is
If you want a plan to simplify your life,
Just remember this,
Not everything is about you.
I know that it is hard for you to comprehend
How anything just could not be,
(I mean really, you're not the Queen of Sheba)
You're a decent enough person, but you’re not royalty
Cross my heart, I promise, It's not all about you
And no, it is not all about me.
Stop yourself when in the moment
Try hard to imagine the big picture in your head
Now listen to me carefully,
See if you can grasp the words I say.
Sometimes you're not the center of it all
Sometimes you simply cannot have your way
Sometimes it is simply about someone else,
Other people's lives have crisis, sadness, tears
And moments of joy, good news, recognition
The thunder isn't always yours
Every person who gives you a passing glance
Does not feel some underlying kinetic link to you,
Sometimes its nothing but pure chance.
Sometimes it is not your destiny,
Or a message addressed to you from the universe
Sometimes the call is actually for someone else
A coincidence, not a thing that was forecast by the stars
(It would be less traumatic for the rest of us, if you'd stop behaving,
Like some terrestrial transient who has just arrived from Mars.)
What's that?
Could you repeat the question please?
I don't think I correctly understood,
(Maybe because you keep talking right over me?)
Maybe I did not hear you right,
Yes, Uh-huh, He or she did what?
Yes.. to interrupt someone is very impolite.
No, I didn't agree or disagree with anyone, it couldn't have been me,
I don't think I know them, no, that name doesn't ring a bell.
No, not everyone is talking about you,
Between working, kids, laundry, and Facebook, most of us don't have the time
(And if you weren't currently making me miserable,
I wouldn't even be bothering with this rhyme)
Look, I know how hard this must be to comprehend
That others are oblivious to your drama
(Some of us can only dream….)
But everyone I know is really stretched quite thin,
Too busy worrying about everyday things
Mortgages, car payments, taxes,
And all the other little "gifts" the mailman is sure to bring.
I swear on the grave of my ancestors, there is no conspiracy
(Didn't you hear me say that people don't have that kind of time?)
If you would only listen, I could stop repeating myself
And stop biting my lip to resist the urge to shout
Maybe if I mix it up,
It is not you, that this is about.
Spy on you? You're kidding, Right?
Do I look like some modern day Matta Hari?
No, I don't work for the Competition, the FBI or CIA
I don't spend my time following you around town or the internet
Jotting down all your whereabouts by way of text
(Really, I mean, Who does that?)
So that I can go back and report it to your ex's ex.
I can barely keep track of my keys, and my kids, and my phone
My life is full, my plate, like my cup runneth over
(What I am trying to say, is that I've more important things to do)
My pen is not a camera, my phone is not a shoe
(Though you've really got me wondering,
What it is that is wrong with you?)
I don't know how to say this any clearer
You are making this quite difficult
I am only trying to convey a simple message
(One I might mention, you are failing epically to get)
Do you think yelling it might help?
THIS ISN'T ABOUT YOU!
I SWEAR, I AM TELLING YOU THE TRUTH!
So, did you receive my message this time?
Have you realized you are not here all alone on planet earth?
Did my words finally get through?
What's that?
Well, yes... You're right,
This poem is about you.
(Oh boy was that a waste of energy and breathe!)
-Kristen Burns-Darling ©November 2011 (all rights reserved)
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@snakeslane - Happy to have had the privilege of making you smile this morning. I have had the somewhat dubious privilege of being related to one for most of my life, and have made several attempts trying to make her see reason, (never with any degree of success), so the speech by now is somewhat well rehearsed. Thank you for the gift of your time and for your comments, they are both welcomed and appreciated.
Kristen
You're talking to my ex-husband, right? LOL
@nybride710 - I don't know, is he related to my sister? At least yours gets to be an ex.....I fear that I will be stuck with mine forever! LOL.... Thank you for the gift of your time, and for your comments, they are both welcomed and appreciated~
Kristen
Yes, its a lesson in futility and only serves to increase your own frustration. A narcissist hurtles right past vanity to a full-blown personality disorder. Narcissist's cannot pay attention long enough to ever fully hear much less comprehend your logical reasoning, as you well understand. Your humorous dialogue has a brilliant message, ironically, lost on the subject.
@Amy Becherer - Thank you so much for the generosity of your time and for your comments, they are both welcomed and appreciated, and yes, you are absolutely correct, it is a frustrating exercise in futility!
Thanks again,
Kristen
You have spoken the truth! There are so many narcissists out there!
@gmwilliams - Thank you so much for the gift of your time and your comments, they are both welcomed and appreciated.
Kristen
It is funny reading it but when you have to face one constantly it can get frustrating and can really drain you. That me, me, me, me mantra can really grate on the nerves! I know one and you have hit the nail on the head!
@North Wind - Amen to that! I am related to one, and I dread knowing they are coming to visit, and always feel like I need a nap when they leave....Thanks so much for the generosity of your time and for your comments, they are both most welcome and appreciated.
Kristen
Hi K. Burns! I love this. You have expressed the truth in a very creative way. You are so right. So many people think they are the focus of everything when others aren't even thinking about them. Voted up, up and away!
@Dexter Yarbrough - They really and truly do, and from my experience, the hardest thing of all to convince them of is that most people do not spend the amount of time that they themselves do, obsessing over the goings on of someone that they are not the spouse or parent of. It's a crazy obsessive train of thought! Thank you as always for the gift of your time and your comments, they are both welcomed and deeply appreciated.
Kristen
Fun concept. It's like trying to catch a hummingbird in a glass jar -- difficult because of the elusive subject. Hopefully they get over themselves someday!
@Doug Turner Jr. - I hadn't thought of it that way, but your description is accurate, and I like it very much. I have been so bogged down with serious subjects that I started this one with the actual intent to just have fun with it and lighten up a bit. Thanks so much for your gift of time, and for your comments, they are both welcomed and appreciated!
Kristen
Yes, he is an ex, thank goodness, but we have two teen daughters so contact is necessary on occassion. When it is, I never cease to be amazed at his sense of entitlement, his phony charm everyone else sees or overriding desire to control. SO glad to be away from it. Now, I have a sister who I am beginning to think is narcy as well and ditching her is harder. I definitely feel for you!
@nybride710 - and if your sister turns out to be, I for you! They are nearly impossible to get away from!
Bravo! I can so relate. Thanks for a funny and delightful hub.
@lambservant - You are very welcome, and thank-you for the generosity of your time and for your comments!
Kristen
I’m so vain, I think this poem is about me. About me. Thanks for the gallant effort of expressing this issue. I am beginning to think families are each issued certain types to see how we cope. It is obviously a giant experiment.
@mckbirdbks - I think that you quite possibly could be right, but if you are.....I have to say that on all accounts, this experiment has definitely gone completely awry! LOL :-) Thank you as always for the generosity of your time and for your comments, they are as always deeply appreciated.
Kristen
12/6...hello, K. Burns Darling, I was spending some time reading hubs of my VALUED followers, which does include you, and I read this fascinating hub and it brought back memories of people in my past who really thought that "it" was all about them. Personally and honestly, these people always made, and still make me on-edge. I am too human for my own good. Hey, keep up the great hubbing and Merry Christmas to you and yours and thanks so much for following me. I apologize for taking so long getting back to you. I have no excuse but for that of I have been pushing to turn out as many hubs as possible before my health gets worse. Thanks for being a good listener. God bless you.
@kenneth avery - I had to laugh when you said that you were too human for your own good...I know the feeling! People with these characteristics also put me, as you so nicely put it, "on-edge,"and when I wrote this, I was unfortunately in the middle of an unavoidable negotiation with a family member who is guilty of all of this type of behavior and more, but whom I cannot easily get away from because they are family....(it's a vicious cycle), but I needed to lighten up and laugh at the situation, and the result was this hub. Thank you so much for the generosity of your time, and for your gracious comments, they are always most welcomed and deeply appreciated.
I wish you and yours a very happy and blessed holiday season!
Kristen
12/6
Dear Kristen, if is "I" who is thanful, blessed to have YOU in my world. And I thank, no, I praise God that YOU are down-to-earth, humble and caring. And a fantastic writer and friend. I cherish your hubs and you following me. I will work to not take either for granted. Merry Christmas to you and yours. KENNETH
My mother used to say you wouldn't worry so much about what other people think about you if you only knew how seldom they think about you at all. (Yeah, you had to take Mom's wisdom with a grain of salt!) But she was right.
In situations like this I just give up my side of the conversation and listen. That's all these folks want anyway. Then I get up and leave as soon as they pause and take a breath - usually after about an hour!
@Kathleen Cochran - Its funny, my father used to say something very similar to that. In most cases, when confronted with this type of situation, I am like you, in that I usually just listen and try to get away as graciously and as soon as possible. This was written after a particularly grueling "session" with a family member who is harder to get away from, and with whom, I occasionally throw common sense to the wind, and attempt reasoning with, you are right however, in most cases it it is both easier and less draining to let them talk. Thank you for the gift of your time and comments, they are as always, both welcomed and deeply appreciated! I wish you a blessed and happy New Year!
Kristen
Sounds like some delusions (apart from the narcissist ones) thrown in too. Nicely done.
@Pintoman - Oh she is definitely delusional! Thank you for the generosity of your time and for your comments, both of which are welcomed and deeply appreciated!
Kristen
Nice to see you write about something you know about, for a change. LOL.
@documentor - Thank you the generosity of your time and your comments, they are welcomed and appreciated. I wouldn't say that I'm an expert, but I do know quite a bit about the subject; I lived with one for most of my life, so I can spot them a mile away!
Thanks Again,
Kristen
Hello, on January 21, 2012, K. Burns Darling! Me again. I just had to stop and write you. Again. To tell YOU just how much I enjoyed THIS hub. Amazing stuff. You nailed it. I do what I can to avoid self-absorbed people...not that Im a saint, but I have no tolerance for talkers only about "I" done this, and "Ive" done that...and NO listening from them..And to tell you that I still recall YOU being My Very First Follower on Hubs. That is not lost on tradition. Here are a Dozen Red "Cyber Hub Roses," to show you how much I appreciate you doing this kind act of following me.
K. Burns, you are a very special. Talented. And wonderful blessing to all of HubVille.
Your friend, KENNETH
@kenneth avery - Awwww! Thank-you Kenneth!
K. Burns . . .You are Most Welcome. My pleasure. You keep up great writing like this and KNOW that Ive got your back and in your corner.
@kenneth avery - Thanks Kenneth, it always helps to know that someone is on your side or in your corner! Some days it makes all the difference in the world!
Kristen
Hi, Kristen, you are welcome. And I meant every word of that. Im here for you unconditionally. Keep that in your heart and mind. And have a peaceful day.
Kenneth
Ha ahh i loved it. the ending was so perfect. you trying to convey the message that this person is not the center of the universe not on every ones mind. but to him/her this poem is proof of otherwise. Great piece, i could feel your frustration and i can completely relate with where you are coming from. Awesome Up, funny and interesting.
@jessica.written - It is a very frustrating situation...no matter what you say to them, you are speaking in an alien language, and they always manage to turn it back to them! Thank you so much for the generosity of your time,your comments,and your votes, all are welcome and deeply appreciated.
Kristen
snakeslane Level 7 Commenter 6 months ago
Hilarious K Burns Darling! There is no talking to a narcissist, but you sure gave it a good try. Regards, snakeslane